I was going to post an excerpt from Hard today, but Jamieson was kind enough to provide the story behind this story--and I know many of you, like me, love to hear how a story came about. Enjoy!
Behind the Story – The True Life Story of Hard
My new novella, HARD, is actually based off of a true story.
When I was a randy young lad, I did indeed look at pornography magazines with my male chums. Name one guy that doesn’t when he’s younger (never mind when he’s older). But I always found myself looking at the guys in porno magazines.
I knew at a fairly young age that I was gay. I was brought around to this realization with a little help from my best friend at the time, a young man I will call Jason (that’s not his real name, in case you were wondering).
As young men are wont to do, we did explore each others bodies. We even pressed our crotches together, much like Owen and Daniel in HARD. But the true-life story ended much more horribly than the novel I wrote.
One afternoon, while Jason and I engaged in what could loosely be called an extra curricular activity, I got hard. Even worse, I got hard while we were rubbing crotches together.
I remember the look on Jason’s face when he realized I was hard. And the way the look deepened when he realized it was not the pornography magazines that were making me hard; it was him.
“Your hard.” He said. There was a note of accusation in his voice.
”No I’m not.” But he knew that wasn’t true. So did I.
The damage was done. Jason and I kind of drifted apart. We no longer hung out after school, we no longer talked. But I would see him from time to time in the hallways of our high school. Each time I saw him, I got a feeling that made me warm inside and slightly sad at the same time.
Years later, I realized that I was more than likely in love with Jason at the time. But I didn’t really know what love was. Heck, I didn’t even know what being gay was, not really. I just knew I was different; I just didn’t know how different.
When I sat down to write HARD, I had only one thought in my mind: what would have happened if my own story had gotten a happy ending? What would have happened if things had gone differently?
And the story of HARD was born.
While I was writing it, it was impossible not to think of Jason. I think of him every now and again and wonder what ever happened to him. He was the first boy I ever loved but, thankfully, not the last.
I can only hope that he’s found happiness as I have; and that he thinks of me every once in a while not with shame, but with pleasure.
You can read HARD to find out if Owen and Daniel get a happy ending. Get your copy from the lovely folks over at Breathless Press right here: www.breathlesspress.com
Words that satisfy every need…